Friday, 16 April 2010

Friday Facts In Association With Brass Eye & The Day Today



Modern life can be filled with uncertainty and confusion. Every Friday Brass Eye and The Day Today will provide a shining moment of clarity, a stark image of the world around us, a fact beacon which will shine the light of truth into the dark corners of doubt. Prepare your eyes for FACTS.

Friday, 9 April 2010

Friday Facts In Association With Brass Eye & The Day Today



Modern life can be filled with uncertainty and confusion. Every Friday Brass Eye and The Day Today will provide a shining moment of clarity, a stark image of the world around us, a fact beacon which will shine the light of truth into the dark corners of doubt. Prepare your eyes for FACTS.

Friday, 2 April 2010

Friday Facts In Association With Brass Eye & The Day Today


Modern life can be filled with uncertainty and confusion. Every Friday Brass Eye and The Day Today will provide a shining moment of clarity, a stark image of the world around us, a fact beacon which will shine the light of truth into the dark corners of doubt. Prepare your eyes for FACTS.

Thursday, 1 April 2010

My Favourite Episodes - Torchwood: The One Where A Cyberwoman Fights A Pterodactyl



Torchwood is a spin-off off off off Doctor Who and thus contains a small piece of Doctor Who's infinite amount of awesomeness, thus making Torchwood also infinitely awesome. You can find my thoughts on Torchwood under the Torchwood tag on this blog. Imagine that.

This particular episode of Torchwood comes from the faultless and amazing first season. Back when swear words and crude sex references were inserted into the dialogue at random moments for EXTREME effect. My favourite piece of dialogue in this episode is when Gwen utters the phrase 'hard on'. Not because I am a pervert or anything, but because using words like that is edgy, modern, and hip.

In this episode Ianto forgets to make the tea for the Torchwood team after they have had a nice game of basketball, so they all go to the pub and leave him behind. Ianto does not care though, as he is entertaining a Japanese man who is trying to fix Ianto's secret cyberwoman girlfriend that he keeps in the secret underground room that no-one else in Torchwood ever goes in. Hilarity and mirth ensues when the cyberwoman escapes from her confines and tries to teach everyone in Torchwood the true meaning of Christmas.

This episode is my favourite because:



A CYBERWOMAN FIGHTS A PTERODACTYL

The pterodactyl (Myfanwy) is considered an awesome secret weapon against the threat of cyberisation - presumably because cybermen really don't like things that flap in their faces or make CAW CAW SCRREEEEECCCHHHH sounds. The fight is so amazing and budget shattering that we are not allowed to see it in its entirety. We have to assume that this mighty battle between metal person of the future and the dinosaur of the past was decided when the pterodactyl flew off to eat something not made of inedible steel.

Ianto cries a lot in this episode. Episodes where Ianto cries about things are the best ones. Especially when he's crying over a girlfriend that will soon be forgotten after this episode. Here are some nice shots of Ianto crying:





I think the last image is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

In the end the cyberwoman tries to find a new home in the body of a pizza delivery girl but Ianto decides that he doesn't like girls anymore so Jack shoots her.

So there you are, conclusive proof that Torchwood: The One Where A Cyberwoman Fights A Pterodactyl is the greatest episode of TV ever.

Friday, 26 March 2010

Friday Facts In Association With Brass Eye & The Day Today


Modern life can be filled with uncertainty and confusion. Every Friday Brass Eye and The Day Today will provide a shining moment of clarity, a stark image of the world around us, a fact beacon which will shine the light of truth into the dark corners of doubt. Prepare your eyes for FACTS.

Sunday, 14 March 2010

Stupid Films That I Love - Event Horizon



This instalment of SFTIL features a Paul WS Anderson movie, Event Horizon. No, wait, come back! It's really quite good. You see, years before Mr Anderson made a mess of Alien Vs Predator (and the Resident Evil franchise, and made a movie where Kurt Russell says bugger all), he made an entertaining horror movie.

Event Horizon stars Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne (who admittedly seems to sleepwalk his way through this movie) as a scientist and spaceship captain, respectively. Their mission is to travel to Neptune to retrieve a missing ship, the Event Horizon, that has returned to the solar system after spending seven years missing. Laurence Fishburne and his crew of stock characters travel to Neptune where they discover the price the Event Horizon crew paid for meddling with black holes.

Needless to say things do not go well for the intrepid crew of stock characters (look, it's Sean Pertwee playing a gruff cockney! Oh, and over there is the wisecracking crewman who gets all the catchphrases! If you peek around the corner you can see the inexperienced crewman who will do something stupid and get into trouble! And there's the guy who works for the government and therefore cannot be trusted!) The ship seems to be possessed and has it in for the retrieval team, cue lots of dark, space corridor porn and loud bursts of sound designed to make you jump.



Despite its faults there's a lot going for Event Horizon. The ship itself has an interesting design, especially the engine room with its pool of coolant and spherical gravity drive. The effects work is good (the shots of the space station orbiting Earth and the Event Horizon orbiting Neptune are great) and the technology looks solid and largely plausible. The stock characters are entertaining in their own sub-Alien way and Sam Neill puts in a fun performance as the scientist who, SPOILER - goes a bit loopy and serial killerish.

I have to mention the soundtrack, it's a combination of Michael Kamen and Orbital and it works very well. The blending of traditional orchestra sounds with techno elements creates a pulsing soundtrack that gives the Event Horizon an ominous, growling, pulsing heart beat.

Event Horizon is a fun B-movie and, as with all the Stupid Films That I Love, not an example of cinema as high art but it is an enjoyable and occasionally frightening way of spending an hour and forty minutes. Also, the film ends with a Prodigy tune over the credits which always scores bonus points in my book.

"Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see."